Scientists are now talking about a possible one-man, one-way trip to Mars. The intrepid space pioneer would be landed on Mars with enough food and water for survival BUT not enough fuel for a return trip.
I would like to nominate Barack Hussein Obama for this historic trip for several reasons:
1) The Seattle Times on-line edition recently published an Associated Press article in which they said that Obama himself “has already outlined a plan to go to Mars by the mid-2030s.” So, I naturally concluded that he was personally volunteering and I applaud him for this.
2) Dirk Schulze-Makuch, a Washington State University professor and Paul Davies, a physicist at Arizona State University also suggested that a second spacecraft carrying a second, what? Mars-tronaut, possibly a female could follow the lead spacecraft by a few months, prompting immediate thoughts that perhaps Nancy Pelosi could also be sent. The reasons are simple, exposure to radiation would render the space travelers impotent so we wouldn’t have to worry about Barack and Nancy procreating. Sadly, their strain would die out.
3) The costs, which would be enormous, would still probably come in cheaper than a $200,000,000 ($200-million) a day 10-day trip to India. And the Mars trip may not cost taxpayers one red cent.
4) “The astronauts would go to Mars with the intention of staying for the rest of their lives, as trailblazers of a permanent human Mars colony,” Schulze-Makuch and Davis wrote. They acknowledge the proposal is a tough sell for NASA, with its focus on safety, and suggest the private sector might be more fertile ground. “What we would need is an eccentric billionaire,” Schulze-Makuch said. “There are people who have the money to put this into reality.”
Again, I humbly nominate John Kerry and George Soros as the financial benefactors of this “progressive” use of space travel and exploration.
5) Obama and Pelosi could be like real-life space cowboys and we could even send Obama’s teleprompter and Nancy’s gavel with them. They might even take on a green coloring to match the other Martians.
6) The entire world would be entertained watching “The Messiah” and the “Wicked Witch of the West” undergo the peculiar torture devised by TSA. Not the Texas Society of Anesthesiologists but the Transportation Security Administration. TSA chief Janet (Rigid Digit) Napolitano could have the honors of bestowing a cavity search on Obama. (They say they are unarmed U.S. citizens, but one never knows. We sure don’t want them crashing their Mars voyager into the space station or blowing themselves up in mid-flight.)
7) Scientists also predict that other Mars colonists would soon follow BHO and Nasty Nancy to establish a viable, livable world. I would again, humbly nominate a series of eco-freaks beginning with Al Gore, everyone in PETA, the entire Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), Greenpeace and every other environmental whacko.
8) The intrepid space explorers and Martian colonizers wouldn’t have to worry about global warming for, oh let’s say, 10 million years or so as the Martian atmosphere slowly changes from primarily carbon dioxide to oxygen.. Currently, Martian daytime summer temps are about 14 degrees for a high to -105 for a nighttime low. So, Al Gore will have thousands of years before he has to worry about global warming.
9) PETA would be happy because there are no animals to kill. Greenpeace would be happy because there will be no whales until oceans can be established and populated. And all the other whackos will be happy because there are no trees to cut down.
I say, “mission accomplished.” Our planet will be saved from their ridiculous Socialist planning, and they have an entirely new planet to poison and destroy – excuse me – enlighten.